Homecoming
by Dulcineah
Summary: Set during Season One. Lilly Gallagher moves in with the Hansens. Chapter 3 added!
1. Initial Awkwardness

A/N: This is a short piece I wrote about Lilly Gallagher, the orphan who stayed with the Hansens during Season One. Lilly was my favorite character, and I've been disappointed that the time she spent with Syd and the Hansens is all but ignored by the show's writers. So I decided to write this short little vignette. It takes place during the episode "Family Tree". I'd love to know what everyone thinks of this work, so if you could take a few minutes after reading to fill out that little box below, I'd be very grateful. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I have nothing, so please don't sue! I'm just playing around with the characters, and I'll put them back when I'm done. ;)

The car ride was long and silent. I hadn't said a word since saying goodbye to the Gerwins. Dr. Hansen kept giving me concerned glances when she thought I wasn't looking. Probably worried about me. Everyone worries about me. Why, I don't know. 

"I think you'll like it with us, Lilly," Dr. Hansen said, breaking the silence. "Joanie and Robbie are so excited about having you come to stay."

"Yeah," I replied, not sure what to say to that. It wasn't the first time I'd heard that, and it probably wouldn't be the last either. It hadn't been so long ago that the Gerwins had "welcomed me into their family." Only to discover that they didn't want me after all. It hurt, yeah, but I was used to it. 

Dr. Hansen made another stab at conversation. "I thought we could do a little shopping this weekend. Like a girls day out. Sound like fun?"

"Yeah, sure." I knew I didn't sound too enthusiastic, and I felt bad about that. Dr. Hansen had been nicer to me than anyone else I'd met in a long time. She'd saved my life after Carson and I went through the window at the clinic, gotten me a job, and now she was letting me stay with her and her family. She still cared about me, even after I'd done all those horrible things. 

Dr. Hansen pulled the car into a driveway and turned off the ignition. "Well, here we are, kiddo," she announced. "And just in time for dinner."

I grabbed my backpack and followed her into the house. Her brother and sister were there to greet us. I remembered them from that night I stayed over after a fight with the Gerwins. Joanie had her daughter with her. A cute baby. I always liked kids. 

"Hello, Lilly," Joanie greeted me. "It's so nice to have you here."

I smiled back at her. "It's nice to be here," I said shyly. "Thanks for having me."

"Dad's up in Newfoundland seal-watching," Robbie added. "He'll be back in a few days."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just smiled, hoping that would do. It did somewhat--Joanie and Robbie smiled back at me, but when that was over, the room lapsed into an awkward silence.

It was so familiar to me, but I still hated it. The uneasiness, the painful small talk, the feeling of being a stranger thrown in with a group of people who had gotten along perfectly well without you. I'd lived with dozens of foster families, and every new home started out like this. Sometimes it got better, and sometimes it didn't, and I'd run away when I couldn't stand it anymore. Most of the time I was caught before I got too far, but that didn't matter. The family never wanted me back.

Dr. Hansen came to my rescue. "Lilly, I think we've got time to see your room before dinner."

"Sure," I said gratefully, turning and following her up the stairs.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, opening the door that led to the attic.

"Nervous," I admitted. "I've never been good at this sort of thing."

"You're doing just fine," Dr. Hansen assured me. "This can't be easy for you."

I shrugged. "I guess. I'm used to it."

She looked like she wanted to say something else, but changed her mind instead. Which was just as well, because we'd made it up the last few stairs, and were standing in the attic.

"I know it's not much to look at now," Dr. Hansen said apologetically. "But we can see about getting it decorated more. Would you like that?"

I looked around the room. There were piles of boxes, and trunks, a bed and dresser, nothing terribly fancy, but it was mine to use. I wouldn't have to share this room with anyone else, thank God. I shuddered as I remembered my two-week stay with the Johnsons back in Oklahoma. I'd had to share a room with their daughter Kaitlyn, and to make a long story short, my case worker had had to come pick me up at eleven at night, after I'd hit Kaitlyn and made her nose bleed. I'm still not sorry I did it. She deserved it, after what she said about my mom.

Dr. Hansen was still waiting for my response. "It's nice," I told her. "Really. I like it."

She squeezed my shoulder. "Glad to hear it. Did you want a little time to settle in?" 

"Yeah, thanks," I said gratefully. "That would be great."

"I'll call you when dinner's ready." She smiled at me, and disappeared down the stairs. 

I put down my backpack, and wandered around the room. The boxes were mostly filled with junk, years worth of stuff that gets hauled up to the attic for lack of a better place to put it. I saw report cards, finger paintings, and other stuff, but I didn't want to pry too much. I was a stranger here, after all.

The thought made me go back and curl up on the bed, trying to sort out everything that was going on in my head. I didn't understand this. I wasn't supposed to feel sad. I'd wanted to be a part of the Hansen family ever since that night I'd spent here after that fight with the Gerwins. I'd loved how easily they interacted with each other, laughed over breakfast, and how much they obviously cared for each other. I hadn't had that since my mom died, and it was nice to be part of a family again, even if it was just for a few hours.

By all means, I should have been thrilled to be here. I liked Dr. Hansen--she was the first adult I'd trusted in a long time. And her family had been very nice to me when I'd showed up on their doorstep that night. I knew they would all do their best to make me feel welcome. I just wished I could stop feeling like an intruder in their lives.

"Lilly?" I looked up to see Dr. Hansen at the foot of the stairs, wearing that concerned expression she always seemed to have when dealing with me. "Are you all right?"

I sat up. "Yeah, I'm fine." 

She didn't look convinced, but she didn't ask any more questions either. "Dinner's ready."

I got up and followed her downstairs to my first dinner with the Hansen family.


	2. Dinner with the Family

A/N: I realize I haven't updated this in about a year. Thanks to Vicky, Sylvye, and providencelover for reviewing, otherwise I probably wouldn't have updated at all. If anyone's interested in this story, I might keep on going with it, so let me know if I should or not!  
  
Also, I seem to have misplaced my tape with the Lilly episodes, so the dialogue during dinner may be a little off. I hope I remembered most of it!  
  
Homecoming--Chapter 2  
  
Joanie had made spaghetti for dinner. It smelled delicious, but when I sat down at the table with the rest of the Hansens, I found myself unable to do more than pick at my food. Everyone else was as quiet as I was, and for what felt like a long time, the only noise in the dining room was the clink of silverware against the plates. I knew the awkwardness was on my account. Who wouldn't be nervous having a complete stranger at the table with them?  
  
"So Lilly," Joanie began brightly, in an attempt to start some form of conversation. "How's school?"  
  
I smiled and shrugged. "School's school."  
  
Joanie nodded, but couldn't find anything to say to that. Silence descended once more.  
  
The next time, it was Dr. Hansen's brother Robbie who made the stab at conversation. "Lilly, what brought you to Providence?"  
  
I looked down at my plate and twirled another mouthful of spaghetti onto my fork. "I hitched a ride with a trucker." I stuck the spaghetti in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "I wanted to go to Florida."  
  
"Why Florida?" Dr. Hansen wanted to know.  
  
"It sounded good at the time," I shrugged.  
  
How could I explain this to them? They'd never slept in bus shelters, or stood in the pouring rain for hours hoping to catch a ride to God knew where, just away from where I was then. To them, I was just some screwed up kid who for some reason, Dr. Hansen had taken pity on.  
  
I scarfed down the rest of my spaghetti as quickly as I could, and pushed my chair back from the table. "Can I be excused?" I muttered. "I have homework to do."  
  
"Of course," Dr. Hansen assured me. That worried look was back on her face. "When you're done, would you like to watch a movie with me?"  
  
"What movie?"  
  
"It's called 'A Room With A View'", Dr. Hansen told me. "It's about a young girl who goes to Italy and falls in love…could be fun."  
  
In other words, one of those movies that I could never possibly understand. "Maybe some other night," I mumbled. "I really have a lot of homework."  
  
To my everlasting relief, Dr. Hansen didn't ask any more questions, but allowed me to escape back up to the attic. 


	3. How do you define family?

A/N: Again, I haven't seen this episode since I lost my tape, so the details may be a bit off. Hope I captured the spirit of it, at least! Feedback is very welcome, as always.  
  
  
  
Homecoming--Chapter Three  
  
  
  
My math teacher had assigned the odd problems at the end of the chapter. For science, I had to define the vocabulary words in the back of chapter eight. For English, I had to write two pages about my family.  
  
That sort of thing was what made me ditch school after my mother died and I was sent to my first foster home. What did they expect me to write? That my mother was dead and I hadn't seen my father in fourteen years? That I lived with a group of strangers who probably wouldn't keep me past the end of the month?  
  
That was unfair, at least to the Hansens. They didn't seem the type to drop me off at Social Services the first chance they got. But that was the story with just about every other family I'd ever lived with. I'd live with them two months or three weeks or in one disasterous placement, five days. I'd heard every excuse in the book as to why they couldn't keep me. Lilly's a delightful girl, but we have our hands full with our other children. Lilly's a troublemaker, and we're afraid she'll be a bad influence on her peers. Lilly continuously breaks our rules about smoking and staying out with boys. And about a hundred others.  
  
My mother and I lived in Oklahoma until--  
  
I put down my pencil and sighed. If I wrote that, I'd end up in the guidance counselor's office before first period was over.  
  
My family has five people in it, besides me. Dr. Hansen is like my--  
  
What was she? My mother or my sister? She was rather young to be the former, and old to be the latter. On that trail of thought, were Joanie and Robbie my aunt and uncle or brother and sister? Was Hannah my sister or my niece? Did they even think of me as family, or was I just a guest until another foster family decided to take me?  
  
I tore the paper out of my notebook and crumpled it into a little ball, dropping it on the floor. I'd have to remember to pick it up and toss it in the trash downstairs when I was through. Maybe I should forget about this English assignment for now and do the rest of my homework. Math, maybe. Something cut and dry with right and wrong answers.  
  
Instead I got up and wandered around the attic, browsing through the boxes of finger paintings and school photos. Robbie was missing two teeth in his third grade picture. Joanie drew lots of pictures of cats when she was seven. The more I looked at, the more I felt I was intruding.  
  
"Lilly?" I quickly spun around to face Dr. Hansen.  
  
"Oh." I stepped away from the box. "Hi."  
  
"I'm going to bed," she told me. "Is there anything you need?"  
  
I shook my head. "No, thank you, Dr. Hansen."  
  
She smiled at me and started down the stairs, then stopped and turned around. "Lilly?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You can call me Syd."  
  
I wanted to say something. How much that meant to me. To thank her for letting me stay with her, even if it was just for a little while. How she'd been nicer to me than anyone I'd known since my mom died. But the words died in my mouth. I couldn't say it. So I smiled instead. Hoped she understood what I couldn't say.  
  
Dr. Hansen--Syd--smiled back at me. "Goodnight, Lilly."  
  
"Goodnight," I echoed. She left, and I leaned back against a stack of boxes. My hand brushed against a picture frame, and I pulled it out of the box. The Hansen family smiled at me out of the frame: Dr. Hansen--Syd-- (this would take some getting used to) and her father, and Robbie and Joanie and a woman who could only be Mrs. Hansen. They looked happy. They looked like a family.  
  
I needed a cigarette. Badly. I knew I wasn't supposed to smoke in here, but that didn't stop me from plucking my pack out of my jacket pocket and lighting one. I started to feel better as the smoke filled my lungs and the nicotine raced through my bloodstream. This was okay. I could make it through this.  
  
After I'd smoked three cigarettes, the attic was thick with smoke. I opened two windows, but the air didn't clear fast enough for me. There was no way in hell I could do my homework like this. Maybe I'd take a walk, clear my head a bit, and come back to finish my homework when the smoke had aired out. Right, that was what I'd do.  
  
I put down my cigarette on the dresser and quietly crept down the stairs and out of the house. 


End file.
